Brian Thorp
Brian Thorp is the founder and CEO of Wealthtender and Editor-in-Chief. Prior to founding Wealthtender, Brian spent nearly 22 years in multiple leadership roles at Invesco. With over 25 years in the financial services industry, Brian is applying his experience and passion at Wealthtender to help more people enjoy life with less money stress.
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Get to know financial advisors specializing in serving men going through divorce who are ready to help with your financial planning needs so you can enjoy life more with less money stress.
Divorce is often one of the most challenging life events, particularly for men who may not always seek the guidance they need during such a tumultuous time. Financially, divorce can be complicated, with long-lasting impacts on wealth, retirement, and overall security.
As a man going through a divorce, you may be thinking about hiring a financial advisor who understands your unique financial planning challenges.
You’ll likely find dozens of nearby financial advisors well-suited to help you reach your money goals with a personalized plan. However, it may be more difficult to find a financial advisor who specializes in serving divorcing men.
Fortunately, many financial advisors offer virtual services so you can meet online no matter where you (or they) live. This means you can choose to hire a specialist financial advisor who lives hundreds of miles away if you decide their knowledge and experience working with divorcing men is a better fit to help with your unique financial planning needs.
Financial Planning for Divorcing Men
💡 In the Q&A below, you’ll gain insights from financial advisors who work with men going through a divorce to help them make smart decisions while navigating a difficult life transition.
🙋♀️ Do you have questions not answered below? Use the form on this page to submit your questions, and we’ll update this article with answers from the financial professionals and educators in the Wealthtender community. You can also contact the financial advisors featured in this article directly to set up an introductory call or ask your questions by email.
💸 Smart Money Insights for Divorcing Men
This page is organized into sections to help you quickly find the information you need and get answers to your questions:
- Q&A with Financial Advisors Specializing in Serving Divorcing Men
- Get Answers to Questions About Men Going Through a Divorce
- Browse Related Articles
Q&A: Financial Advisors Specializing in Serving Divorcing Men
Three Questions with John Gugle, CFP®, CDFA®, CRPC®
We asked John Gugle, a Charlotte-based financial advisor and specialist for divorcing men, to answer questions he often addresses with men going through a divorce.
Q: For divorcing men who are unsure whether or not they should hire a financial advisor at the current point in their lives, what guidance can you provide to help them make a more informed and educated decision?
John: It is crucial for men who are about to start the divorce process that they get a financial advisor who is well-versed in the intricacies of divorce planning PRIOR to the actual negotiations. I cannot stress this enough; timing is very important.
Once you arrive at a settlement, it may be too late, and you might end up with a bad deal. An advisor who has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation understands the financial ramifications of the divorce process and can steer you through the entire process, but it is vitally important to have guidance as you begin the process.
By hiring a CDFA professional, you can have a clearer view of your financial future. Only then can you approach a legal settlement that fully addresses your financial needs and capabilities. They can help you save money by helping you avoid the long-term financial pitfalls related to separation agreements. A CDFA professional can help clients think through what the divorce will really cost in the long run and develop a realistic monthly budget during the financial analysis process. Expenses such as life insurance, tax obligations and cost of living increases must be taken into consideration when agreeing on a final settlement.
However, the biggest advantage to hiring a CDFA professional is that it can reduce the amount of apprehension and misunderstanding about the divorce process. Many have false expectations that they will be able to secure a settlement allowing them to continue with their accustomed style of living. Financial divorce analysis helps to ensure a good, stable economic future and prevents long-term regret with financial decisions made during the separation or divorce process.
Q: When you first speak with a man going through a divorce, what questions do you like to ask to better understand his unique circumstances and determine how you can best help him achieve his goals?
John: I like to ask my client to paint a clear picture of what success would look like if we were to work together. I am trying to understand what they hope to achieve. I want to make sure that we are on the same page and that I can get them there.
Proper expectation management is important if we are to work well together. I am also trying to gauge where their mental state is at that point in time. That helps me align my advice to their needs. Most of the time, they are caught up in the emotion of an impending divorce.
Women initiate divorce 72% of the time. The man might not have been aware that there was disharmony. There could be infidelity involved. The problems could stem from financial mistakes since money is one of the leading causes of divorce. He might be consumed with fear or anger. It is important for me to remain calm, show empathy, explain how my financial planning helps in the divorce process, and let them know that I was in the same spot as them years ago.
Relating to their feelings and demonstrating confidence that I will get them through this are powerful ways to connect with new clients. My hope is to bring a sense of calm and promote the idea that they will get to a better place in time.
Get to Know John Gugle, Financial Advisor for Divorcing Men:
View John’s profile page on Wealthtender or visit his website to learn more.
Q: How do the services you offer men going through a divorce distinguish your firm from other advisory firms?
John: I went through divorce and I made my share of mistakes in the divorce process. I learned from those mistakes, and my advice as a financial advisor is shaped by those mistakes. It is why I pursued the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything there was to know about the financial intricacies related to divorce. That helps sharpen my skills and ensure that I am in the best position to advise men going into divorce. I also bring more experience (18 years) as a financial advisor than most others in my field. You will not find a more knowledgeable and experienced advisor in this space.
In addition, you will want to look at how your advisor is compensated. I charge all clients one flat fee that covers comprehensive financial planning and investment management. My fee is tied to the work performed and is not tied to the size of your portfolio. Many advisors charge fees based on assets under management, so if you have a larger investment portfolio, you pay more regardless of how much time is spent advising you. Paying less in fees is the number one way you can control costs and ensure financial success. Savvy consumers seek out flat fee advisors because they know that the fees paid are commensurate with the work performed.
Q: Is there anything that comes up frequently in your initial meeting with men going through divorce that surprises you?
John: Yes, a lot of times, men want to make quick decisions with money, and I caution them against making any hasty moves. Do not go buy a new car. Do not shift money around. And for God’s sake, do not take all of the money out of your checking account. That is foolish to do, and anything that you do to harm your spouse is something the courts will look at unfavorably.
Separation and divorce are delicate processes. The money and financial assets will be divided equitably. The best thing you can do when you are starting down the path of divorce is to save your money and document everything you own and where it is at.
Divorce is not cheap. It will affect your finances longer term. I tell everyone that it is best to get a win-win outcome where both parties feel that they can move on and do so peacefully. If you have children with a spouse, you will want to be amicable for the sake of the children. Try to avoid speaking ill of your soon-to-be former spouse. Act compassionately and respectfully.
Q: For men going through a divorce or their friends who are interested in offering support, are there groups or online resources you recommend people consider?
John: I worked with a therapist from the time I was separated until two years after my divorce was finalized. She was amazing at helping me understand what went wrong in my marriage, what my role was in the failure of my marriage, and how I could find new joy again through deep introspection. She had me read the book “How to Be an Adult in Relationships” by David Richo. My work with the therapist helped my healing in profound ways.
I am now engaged to be married to someone who I have dated for 3 1/2 years. I would urge any guy going through divorce to first work on himself, rediscover who you are and what you value before rushing into the dating scene. Otherwise, you are likely to bring significant baggage into future relationships. There is a lot of healing that must take place first before you can be ready to move past your old traumas.
Q. What is a popular misconception about divorce that highlights the value a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can add?
John: Many people think that attorneys do not make mistakes or are immune from overlooking critical details when hammering out a divorce settlement. We blindly trust that they know what they are doing. This is not true. As smart as they may appear, mistakes do get made and sometimes important details are overlooked.
When my fiancee hired a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, she had already signed her divorce settlement agreement. Her attorney missed an obvious detail that ended up costing her $25,000.
There is a period of time between when the divorce settlement is signed and when the courts issue the financial divorce decree. It takes a long time for a divorce to make its way through to completion in our jammed-up court system. Her divorce took 6 months to get finalized. Nowhere in her divorce agreement was there language to address the resulting investment gain or loss between when she signed the settlement and the final decree.
Her CDFA professional pointed out that the investment accounts rose $50,000 over those 6 months. Had she been working with a divorce expert who understands the financial aspects, she would have advised my fiancee to get some language in there that both spouses shall share in the resulting gain or loss over that time period. Her ex-husband got to keep the entire $50,000 gain that was rightfully 1/2 hers. This is the value-add that a CDFA professional can provide.
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About the Author
About the Author
Brian Thorp
Brian is CEO and founder of Wealthtender and Editor-in-Chief. He and his wife live in Austin, Texas. With over 25 years in the financial services industry, Brian is applying his experience and passion at Wealthtender to help more people enjoy life with less money stress. Learn More about Brian
To make Wealthtender free for readers, we earn money from advertisers, including financial professionals and firms that pay to be featured. This creates a conflict of interest when we favor their promotion over others. Read our editorial policy and terms of service to learn more. Wealthtender is not a client of these financial services providers.
➡️ Find a Local Advisor | 🎯 Find a Specialist Advisor
